COPING WITH ADOLESCENCE
I could hardly believe it myself! Here I was having a meeting at my house regarding adolescence because my children are at "that age". My daughter is approaching 13 and my twin boys are almost 11. Over the past year I have noticed a change in behaviour with all three of them, particularly my daughter, who incidentally, is almost as tall as me and nearly the same dress size. It happens all of a sudden, and then you realise, “I have a teenager”!!! Those present at the meeting, and it was good to see, excuse the pun, “some old faces”, obviously all have children at a similar age to mine and it was quite comforting to learn that you are not the only one experiencing these difficult times.
We all agreed that the teenage years seem to arrive earlier these days (oh no, I sound like my Mum!!!). You could almost call them “pre-teenage years”. You have the mood swings, the stroppiness and the messiness (the bedroom floor I am referring to here, not their appearance, oh no!). This is probably the first experience we have had of children actually being concerned about how they look and dress. Gone are the days of going to for your clothing, it has to be Jane Norman or Diesel or some other expensive designer store, that you would have second thoughts of going into yourself, never mind the children. Studying also becomes “uncool”. One member reported that her boys actually closed the curtains whilst studying just in case some friends should go past and see them – oh the shame of it!
Independence can be an issue in the teenage years, where they want to go out alone with their friends on a regular basis. With gun incidents that we have experienced in Nottingham over the past few weeks it was reiterated to ensure that you know where your children are at all times, and steer them away from hanging around on street corners or at local shops and parks. Try to encourage them to become involved with a hobby or sport that will keep them off the streets and build up their stamina too.
We all spoke of different issues. Moodiness was one of these issues and how best to deal with it. We came to the conclusion that each child is an individual and what would suit one doesn’t suit another. To me, it just seems like another stage in “growing up” just like the terrible twos. It’s a phase, maybe longer than we had experienced before, but nevertheless a phase. Fortunately, no-one at the meeting had had to seek outside help (not yet anyway, touch wood) but there must be many people that do. For more information look in the Yellow Pages under Counselling and Advice.
This meeting did not solve the “trying times of adolescence” but I think that those attended will agree that they all felt better for airing their frustrations and for the support from members who had already been through similar times.
Di Mather-Craddock